Yesterday's appointment was more a formality than anything else. I anticipated the pathology report would just come back a confirmation. Have I mentioned I'm not an optimistic person in the least?
What threw me a bit, however, is that the cancer has metastisized into my lymph nodes. I was not prepared to hear that. I knew it was a possibility, but I didn't think it would be a possibility for ME, if that makes any sense? Not that I find myself better or less deserving than anyone else, I just figured if the nodule didn't appear cancerous on the ultrasound, and if the biopsy only found a few cells than maybe I'd get off scott free with just a total thyroidectomy and be done.
No such luck.
My surgeon removed 10 lymph nodes, and one of the ten was positive for papillary thyroid cancer. Unfortunately only the PA was available during yesterday's appointment so I am waiting some clarification from my surgeon as to what all exactly this report means. I understand the jest of it, but there are a few parts I have questions on. He is in surgery again today, so hopefully I'll hear from him later or tomorrow.
The PA said because the cancer has spread, I do have to have the RAI ablation. Which means, I need to wean Jayden pretty much immediately. I'm disappointed, and sad for my son, as well as myself, that our nursing time is going to be cut short. I've decided to let him continue to nurse as regular for the next week, most likely until I return to work, and then start weaning him. I have no real game plan in mind.. it's going to be hard and there will be a lot of tears and hurt feelings and confusion involved. I'm not looking forward to and am trying to cherish the little time we have left.
Admittedly, even though I was expecting to hear I had cancer, I am a bit overwhelmed and full of anxiety at the moment. I know it could be so much worse but right now, honestly? I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself.
I have to go back to Marquette April 15th to meet with the endocrinologist and figure out the full treatment plan I suppose. The PA also mentioned an oncologist but I guess I'll find out more on whether or not that is necessary whenever I can discuss the pathology report with my surgeon.
It's a lot to take in. Just trying to breath and not freak out.
On the positive end of things, I got the lab results back from my calcium levels yesterday, and while they are low, they are on the low end of NORMAL range. So hopefully this means my parathyroid glands are coming out of their surgical comas and starting to function again. I'm so over TUMS already.
No comments:
Post a Comment